If you wish, Christ Himself, can be a guest at your wedding
accompanied by a choir of angels. As before, He can perform miracles if you
want Him too…turning cold lust and dissolute enjoyment into spiritual
desires. This is what turning water into wine means. You will not find
Christ where the band is playing, for if he comes, he will first drive them
away and then perform a miracle. There is nothing worse than a godless
ceremony. It is shapeless and inarticulate, or if there is any meaning
behind it, it is a shameful and disagreeable one.
Nothing is sweeter than virtue, nothing more desirable than reverence and
moderation. Arrange a marriage in this way and you will find joy. First,
find for your daughter a man who will really protect her as a true head of
the family, so she will be to him not so much a servant as another
daughter. Overlook any wealth, nobility of birth, or the size of his native
city. Rather look for piety, sobriety, true understanding and fear of God.
To look for a rich husband is to hurt her for she will be a slave rather
than a free woman. The benefit she will get from the wealth will be
cancelled out by the trouble she will have from being in servitude to him.
Look for a man of equal status or even a poorer man.
Look for a virtuous man and, in preparing for marriage, invoke the name of
Christ and He will come in a mysterious way. Ask Him that the husband be
suitable. Say to God: “Find for me the one you want.” Entrust the problem
to Him and He will return the honor. But your part is to find a virtuous
man. Do not say, “Give me the one I want.”