ARRANGING A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

If you wish, Christ Himself, can be a guest at your wedding accompanied by a choir of angels. As before, He can perform miracles if you want Him too…turning cold lust and dissolute enjoyment into spiritual desires. This is what turning water into wine means. You will not find Christ where the band is playing, for if he comes, he will first drive them away and then perform a miracle. There is nothing worse than a godless ceremony. It is shapeless and inarticulate, or if there is any meaning behind it, it is a shameful and disagreeable one.

Nothing is sweeter than virtue, nothing more desirable than reverence and moderation. Arrange a marriage in this way and you will find joy. First, find for your daughter a man who will really protect her as a true head of the family, so she will be to him not so much a servant as another daughter. Overlook any wealth, nobility of birth, or the size of his native city. Rather look for piety, sobriety, true understanding and fear of God.

To look for a rich husband is to hurt her for she will be a slave rather than a free woman. The benefit she will get from the wealth will be cancelled out by the trouble she will have from being in servitude to him. Look for a man of equal status or even a poorer man.

Look for a virtuous man and, in preparing for marriage, invoke the name of Christ and He will come in a mysterious way. Ask Him that the husband be suitable. Say to God: “Find for me the one you want.” Entrust the problem to Him and He will return the honor. But your part is to find a virtuous man. Do not say, “Give me the one I want.” 

(08-21-02)